You Don’t Have to YELL!!

My husband came home last night to find me at the end of my “mommy rope.” I had been fighting against my kids all afternoon, and I was done.

Unfortunately, we had a commitment to be somewhere within a few minutes of my husband coming home, so I was trying to get the kids out the door instead of sending them to bed like I would have rather done.

My husband suggested that maybe we shouldn’t go. And then he said something that hit me like a brick, and I’m still considering it this morning.

“I’m just tired of the yelling. I can’t take the switch back and forth.”

You see, I was yelling at the kids, but trying to have a pleasant tone when talking with him. My tone of voice (and volume) were being turned on and off as if my 2.5 year old was flipping a light switch back and forth, over and over.

Wow.

And, to make matters “worse,” the kids weren’t responding any better to me when I was yelling. It was still going “in one ear and out the other.”

Can I actually get my kids to obey without having to yell? Will they listen to me if I don’t yell at them?

Since we really needed to be on our way, I decided that I would stop yelling. Right then and there, I switched from yelling to simply stating what I wanted the kids to do.

And would you believe, they started listening? No, they didn’t turn into perfect little angels (I mean, they are sinners, too), but when they realized that Mommy wasn’t yelling anymore, they actually started to hear the words I was saying again.

It’s kind of funny in a way. I’ve been trying to teach my daughter that yelling at our dog doesn’t make him obey better, but that firm commands are necessary to get his attention.

What if I took my own advice? What if I stopped yelling at my kids and switched to giving firm commands?

As I consider this, I find myself reflecting on God’s method(s) of “parenting” me.

Does God yell? Is He constantly angry with me when I act out in rebellion against His will? Or does He gently and firmly guide me, calling me out of love rather than wrath?

How do you avoid yelling??

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http://twitter.com/dailydwelling dailydwelling

This is something that I am working on as well. I am so game for this challenge!

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

How have you done? Did you manage to go 24 hours without yelling?

Brandy

I so needed this! Thanks!

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

How’s it going, Brandy? Have you been more aware of the times that you want
to yell at your kids? How have you stopped in the moment and adjusted your
tone of voice?

Ralene

I’m right there with you! More often these days, I seem to have reached the end of my mommy rope by the end of the day. Sometimes it just seems the only way to get the kids to listen IS to yell. Of course, it’s not, but by the end of the day when your energy is drained and you’re about ready to snap, I fear my discernment skills are not up to par. lol… But yes, I’ll take that challenge with you! Praying…

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

What tools have you found to be effective in keeping your voice below a
yell? Have you managed to have a 24 hour “no yell” period?

S Club Mama

I love this. I need this. You are just so right, thank you for speaking the truth!

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

How has it gone? Have you been successful in being mindful of your voice?

Anonymous

Being a teacher, I have a tendency to yell every now and then. I know it’s not effective..it’s something they even taught in our college courses..but still I yell. I don’t do it often, but when I do, I try to calm myself down and speak to them in a firm tone, not yelling. They always seem to respond better.

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

Isn’t it amazing that we know that something doesn’t work, and yet we
continually revert to it? How have you done?

Stacey

This is so where I’m at! I’ve been working at this for months, but I still have very bad days. Thanks for the reminder to NOT YELL!

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

Praying for you, Stacey! I hope that God has encouraged you through this
post to keep your cool and respond with grace and love!

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http://blog.shannonentin.com Shannon Entin

GOOD FOR YOU! I’m working on this challenge for all of 2011! My blog is all about the not-yelling. I’d love it if we could all support each other on this!

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

I love the focus of your blog, Shannon! I click over every few days for the
reminder I need to keep my cool and advice on how to do it!

http://twitter.com/hbixler03 Heather Bixler

This is a great post, and I always find it amazing when God speaks to me through the things I am trying to teach my kiddos – like your example with training your dog, lol! It’s like the words you were saying to your kiddos are the words God is probably trying to say to you. :)

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

Isn’t it fun the means God uses to get our attention sometimes?!?

http://olgaselfexpression.wordpress.com Olga SE

A great post! It set me thinking.

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

Thanks, Olga! How has it changed how you deal with those in your life?

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http://dressmytruth.blogspot.com Jeanine Byers Hoag

I am working on this, too, and am so glad I read this post! What I need to do is have a plan for what to do when stress makes me *feel* like yelling. What do you do, now?

http://blog.ashleypichea.com Ashley Pichea

I’ve found myself much more conscious about yelling – I tend to stop myself
mid-sentence in fact! The Discipline Project has some great tools on this
topic…

http://dressmytruth.blogspot.com Jeanine Byers Hoag

Maybe I followed the wrong link. I’ll check again. And thanks, I am in the “more conscious” stage, too, and yelling MUCH less than I used to do. But quitting altogether still has me stumped. Low blood sugar, high blood pressure, not enough sleep… have to get better at prevention!