Last summer, I picked up Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas at a Christian book outlet, and my highlighter got a workout as I read.

{Photo Credit: Justin Lucarelli/Flickr}

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the first five chapters of Sacred Influence:

{1} “Respect is a spiritual obligation and discipline. Give your husband his due!”

Michael Hyatt had a great post on this very topic recently: Why Speaking Well of Your Spouse is So Important. It is so critical that we not only avoid “husband bashing” but intentionally (and genuinely) praise him!

{2} “God, not your marital status, defines your life.” (quoting Eugene Peterson)

 It’s so easy to find our worth in our relationships, especially in our relationship with our husbands. We need to find our worth in who we are in Christ!

{3} “The first step toward influencing your man is becoming [a woman worthy of respect] – the unique person God created you to be, in all your glory.”

What are you doing to grow into the image of Christ? Are you being intentional about feeding your own spiritual needs?

{Photo Credit: Ruud van Koten/Flickr}

{4} “If you’re trying to find your primary refuge in your husband, if you’ve centered your hope on him, if your security depends on his approval, and if you will do almost anything to gain his acceptance – then you’ve just given to a man what rightfully belongs to God alone.”

It’s easy to turn our marriage into an idol, seeking to fill the holes in our life with our spouse rather than God.

{5} “If you truly want to love, motivate, and influence your husband, your first step must be to connect – and to stay connect – with God. Find your refuge, security, comfort, strength, and hope in him.”

If we are not living our lives in line with God’s plan for us, we will not be able to influence our husbands to live out God’s plan for their lives.

{6} “A good marriage doesn’t happen by accident, and a good marriage isn’t maintained by accident.”

Marriage is hard work! We have an enemy, Satan, who hates marriage and is out to destroy it at every chance he gets. I would highly recommend Love & War for more reading on this topic.

{Photo Credit: Jeanette Ruyon/Flickr}

{7} “When you grow in character, when you sink your spiritual roots deep, when you learn to hear God’s voice and build your mind with his wisdom, when you allow his Holy Spirit to transform your character and reshape your heart – then you can make your husband fall in love with you over and over again, and he’ll be all the more motivated to maintain your respect and affection.”

Romans 12.1-2: Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. {emphasis mine}

{8} “It is entirely natural and healthy to dream big things for your husband, but that’s very different from selfishly demanding those things.”

Do you have dreams for your husband? Do you pray for his future?

{Photo Credit: Sheila in Millduck/Flickr}

{9} “When did you last thank your husband for helping to make your style of life possible?”

What are some ways that you can show your husband that you appreciate him? Have you considered lately how much he truly does for your family? I tend to focus on what my husband doesn’t do instead of what he does do, and I find myself in a grumbling mode. When I focus on all that he does, I find myself praising him and being appreciative of him.

{10} “Regularly thinking negatively about your husband increases your dissatisfaction with him and your marriage.”

 See #1 above for great advice about this topic!

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Inspiring our husbands starts with changing ourselves. Not until we are secure in who we are in Christ and growing in Him can we lead our husbands to change.

Living intentionally by faith everyday, we grow more and more into the image of Christ and as our husbands see that, they will desire to grow more Christlike, too!

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