living intentionally by faith everyday

L.I.F.E by Ashley Pichea

Top 10 Things I Wish I’d Known BEFORE Getting Married…

{Edit 2/15: Read the rest of the post at Rediscovering Domesticity today!!}

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Ten things I wish I’d known BEFORE I got married:

  1. When the honeymoon ends, the honeymoon ends.
  2. Real life doesn’t look like the movies – it’s not automatically “happily ever after.”
  3. Dating is a lot easier than marriage – you get the benefits of being together whenever you want, but you always have the option to leave.
  4. Sex is great, but no two people have the same honest expectations about sex.
  5. Becoming “one” is not as easy as saying “I do” – you’re still two individuals.
  6. Having kids early on is both a blessing and a challenge – it’s crucial to figure out how to keep the marriage a priority before bringing kids into the mix.
  7. The first five years of marriage are probably the most difficult, not the easiest.
  8. Marriage will reveal how selfish you truly are.
  9. Love isn’t a feeling – it’s how you choose to live each moment of each day.
  10. People change and grow, and not always in the same direction – learn how to adapt to changes early on.
  11. {Bonus} When life (and/or your marriage) feels like it’s falling apart, your focus is probably on the wrong thing. Focus on Christ, not your circumstances!
Anything missing from this list? Add it in the comments!

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 This post is linked up to Faith Barista JAM and Top Ten Tuesday.
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    • Hope Wilbanks

      Great list, Ashley!! And so very true, on all accounts. REAL marriage isn't a fairy tale…it's hard work that takes two diligent, committed people.

    • Mariposa

      I agree with every one of these! :)

    • Alyssa Avant

      Such wisdom here. You truly have to be "committed" to love, honor and cherish. Unfortunately, people seem to think that's an "option". Marriage is a covenant.

    • The Lazy Mom

      Love it! Perfect (and true) list!

    • Joy in this Journey

      Great list! I would elaborate on #2 – dating is easier in a lot of ways because, at least for those of us who chose to abstain until marriage, you don't have sex issues and sleeping in the same bed getting all mixed up in the disagreements. It was much simpler back then. :)

    • ljstarnes

      Great list! I do have one to add. We are studying relationships in our bible class and one thing that was brought up is Gen. 2:24 "…a man leaves his father and mother to become one with his wife.." As much as you love your parents and you should, your husband comes first..don't compare your relationship to your parents. Also, mom is nice and comforting to run to, but sometimes you need to resolve issues on your own.

    • Donna S

      One think I wish I had known was that marriage will reveal all of your unrealistic expectations. Something I really wish we had dealt with before marriage.

    • FaithBarista

      Ashley, what an awesome top 10! Thanks for giving us a savory preview. ;)

      #5 was my personal fave: 'Becoming “one” is not as easy as saying “I do” – you’re still two individuals.'

    • Miningfordiamonds

      Premarital counseling is great, but don't be fooled into thinking that it will truly prepare you for marriage. Nothing can really prepare you for merging your life with someone, there's no way to predict what life will bring your way or how you will handle it. I agree with what the person said about expectations. I had way too many unrealistic ones! But if you commit yourself to GOD FIRST in ALL THINGS, He will give you wisdom when you lack, He will show you what to do when you don't know what to do. Also, time is a great friend. Give the marriage time. A lifetime.

    • Sheryl

      Great list! I'm sure some of these are hard-won lessons.

    • Sheryl

      Well, since I'm on the "Before Marriage" side of the list, I don't have much to add—except it's not guaranteed.

    • Cherie

      Great list. But I must say after 14 years of marriage, we still do enjoy some honeymoon moments!

    • Joelle

      Great list! I especially like #8-11.

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