Are you ever guilty of yelling at your kids? I am… too often. I’ve attempted to stop yelling (as much), and these six easy strategies to stop yelling at your kids have been helping me to change my yelling habits.
For anyone who does yell at their kids, you know it’s a hard habit to break. You may be so used to yelling that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. But your children do, and they’re likely to follow your example as they interact with each other and their peers.
Remember your children will learn more by example than what is told or explained to them. So if you yell a lot, your children are more likely to follow suit. Once you’ve broken that cycle of yelling, you’ll find life as a family is much calmer.
Are your children loud? You may have started yelling out of necessity so you would be heard. However, in many cases, yelling is done to release frustrations or to evoke a response of fear from your children.
No matter the reason for it, many parents who yell find themselves wishing things could change and they could yell less often.
6 Easy Strategies to Stop Yelling at Your Kids
1. Plan ahead.
You know your children are going to frustrate you at some point, so plan ahead how you will handle it. Pay attention to the warning signs such as clenching your teeth or fists, a slight raise to your voice or possibly shaking. When you notice the signs that yelling is about to happen, count to 10 and pray for a supernatural sense of calm to wash over you.
2. Ask for help.
Allow your children to give you a signal if your voice begins getting louder. This could be a ‘catch phrase’ which someone not in-the-know won’t understand but you will recognize it as a clue to control yourself. Don’t allow yourself to get upset when the signal is given, but take the time to acknowledge it and thank your child for helping you to regain control.
3. Develop coping mechanisms.
Walk out of the room, take a deep breath, or count to ten. Find a coping mechanism that works for you and continue using it when you realize you’re about to yell. Some people snap a rubber band on their wrist.
Personally, I find counting to ten and taking a moment to reconnect to God in prayer helps to ground my emotions and allow me to handle the situation more calmly.
4. Think about your child’s temper tantrums.
Why do they have a meltdown? They’re tired, hungry, or frustrated. Are you experiencing the same things?
I know that I tend to be much more irritable and less stable emotionally when my blood sugar is running low or I haven’t had enough sleep. I like to keep these protein-packed breakfast bars on hand for a quick refuel throughout the day. I’ve also found that snacking regularly throughout the day helps all of us to be less likely to yell due to hunger.
5. Pay attention to the times you’re more liable to yell.
Perhaps you yell when you’re more stressed than usual. Or maybe you find yourself yelling when your child’s behavior threatens to “ruin your reputation” among your peers. Once you understand when you yell, you’ll be better able to avoid those situations.
I’ve noticed that I’m most likely to yell when “my kingdom” has been disturbed due to my child’s behavior. In these instances, I’m more likely to be focused on behavioral issues than being willing to parent the issues of the heart.
6. Find new ways to get your children’s attention.
Don’t yell if your children aren’t paying attention to you. Use a whistle, stand on a chair, or try anything out of the ordinary.
I find that, while it’s not the most convenient way, getting down on their eye-level and putting a hand on them is one of the most effective ways to get their attention. And nine times out of ten, it tends to have a more positive result than yelling.
These 5 Ways to Get Your Child’s Attention Without Yelling would be worth trying, too!
Give it a try…
Using these easy strategies to stop yelling at your kids, you can change the dynamics of your home from stressful to peaceful. Give it a try and see if these methods work for you.
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original photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/abbydadams/5187179249